she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
