The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
