Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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