Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
