I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
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