Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
