I am in a vortex of obligation.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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