yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
