Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
