Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
