wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
