Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
