I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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