I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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