I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
