Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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