she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
