Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
