Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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