he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
