i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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