I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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