Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
