I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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