She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
