why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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