Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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