the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The Olympian is in my bed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
