I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
