Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
