Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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