I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
