Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
