she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dicks are not precious.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
