doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
