So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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