If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
