Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize