This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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