I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize