Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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