this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize