so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
