yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
