I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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