Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
