its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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