She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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