Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
