Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
