What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
dude. I can hear the air.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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