Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
