I just made out with a guy for $7.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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