Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
