u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
