He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
