I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
