hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
