Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
