not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
