oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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