Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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